- Mr. T once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism.
- Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
- Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris’ sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
- Chuck Norris puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter”.
- Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
- Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
- Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris’ dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
- Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never fucks up.
- Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
- Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris’ PC will crash.
- Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
- Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
- The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
- When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
- Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.
- Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.
- The phrase, “You are what you eat” cannot be true based on the amount of pussy Chuck Norris eats.
- Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris.
Bill Gates, Chuck Norris, Rosa Parks, steel, Virgin Islands, You are what you eat
This post was written by:
Michaelocity - who has written 66 posts on Michaelocity!.
A man who hates to write his own Bio's!
Currently residing in Brooklyn, N.Y., Mike is a Blogger, Sales Manager and Entrepreneur.
He likes to make fun of dumb people and watch people fall down in the street when no one is looking.
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Mon, Dec 10, 2007
Pop Culture, Randoms